![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
II. Quit drinking pop on a 2-liter or 5 can a day basis.
III. Make a new friend.
IV. Try to be more me oriented.
V. Try to be more laid back and not think everything is such a constant struggle all the time.
VI. Talk with family more.
VII. Be a better person.
VIII. Kill the too nice guy in me so no one walks over me anymore.
- Mood:
blank
Favorite Tunes:
Gravity
City
Love Song
Many the Miles
Vegas
Morningside
Love on the Rocks
- Mood:
hopeful
- Mood:
angry
- Mood: relieved
- Mood: blah
- Mood:
depressed
- Mood: depressed
- Music:9 Crimes
By Josh Conley
Snow fell softly to the ground on a cold Friday morning. The ground was covered in white for miles, for neither grass nor cement could be revealed. Frost covered the cars left bare out in the snow and the original color was hidden by the thick coat. Shards of what seemed like glass stuck underneath the frame. Not even one drop of the frozen water came sliding down their backs for the cold seem to deny them the pleasure. Like the cars the houses featured the same punishment. Thick frost wrapped the roof and shards of glass seem to slowly reach down. The snow piled closely at the feet of the houses crawling about 5 feet up the wall. Some windows were left blocked by snow. The rest were blanketed by a thick icing fog blocking anything from seeing out or in. It seemed to get colder and colder as the day came about for not even the sun wanted to be out in this cold. At the end of the cul-de-sac there lay a small brown house. Most of the house was swallowed by snow except for the chimney. Thick smoke seems protrudes from its mouth escaping only to find out the cold was waiting outside. As the smoke moved towards the sky it slowly faded into the clouds.
The inside of the house felt just as cold as the outside. The only warmth came from a fire left crackling in its home. Small sparks shot out after each snap of wood the fire had consumed. The fireplace was old and dusty as if no one had cleaned it for years. On the mantle above there were pictures that lay in wooden frames. Most of them featured the same two people who held each other close. The woman was short and thin. Her hair was chocolate brown and reached past her shoulders. Her face seemed plain; the nose was slender and sharp. Her eyes where chestnut brown and seemed to drift away to the left. Holding her tightly was a man slightly taller and slightly broader. His chin stuck out and nose was thick. His eyes were dark as they looked straight ahead. They were both dressed in summer clothes as they stood in front of the same house the picture itself resided in. Other pictures of them lay on the mantle piece as well. Sadly the woman seemed to never smile. In the corners lay two flowered vases that seemed to close in the portraits. The flowers were dull and their color faded as the lay over the edge. The water in them was probably frozen for they seemed to shiver back and forth. Their reason for living was probably the fire below barely hanging on as it is. The room was big but there was nothing that seemed to fill it except a broken love seat, a rocking chair beside the fire, and a small table that held a cup. The small couch had two stable legs but two had broken and made it lean a bit. There was nothing else but the wooden walls that seem to echo as a cool draft from outside slammed into it. They were bare and cracked in some places which were probably the reason the room felt so cold. The rocking chair rocked back and forth and a small stream of smoke came from the cup. The room was dark and only lit by the fire that burned. On the plain walls you could see reflections of the things standing in the fires way. One of which was the chair.
The floor creaked slightly as the rocking chair rolled back and forth. Rocking in the chair lay the same man from the picture. “How are you my Lovely,” said the man loudly. His voice seemed rough and bitter as it echoed through the house. After the echo had died a loud pounding was heard from a room off into the distance. After the pounding had ceased the sound of crying followed. After what seemed to be only a moment of silence the man spoke again, “Remember that trip we took during the first week of autumn? It was the month of our anniversary when we first met. We were so in love.” The man smiled a bit but then hid it away with the turn of his head. “Do you even remember that? We spent the whole week opening our hearts to one another. It was the same day you said you loved me. Never had I heard those words from you, though it did take some help from me to get it out of you.” The man laughed. “When you finally said it I knew you really loved me.” The man once again smiled as he stared into the fire. The loud pounding and crying continued. The man seemed lost in his thoughts and not even paying attention to all the noise coming from the adjacent room. His eyes reflected the flame as it rose from the ground. A loud thrashing of the door could be heard. The man retracted his smile that spawned from his memories and replaced it with one of content. “O my Lovely, you know you love me, you have always loved me,” said the man. The words seem to cause even more pounding and crying as the walls seem to move slightly. Then man sat there rocking back and forth staring into the fire and once again in his mind reminiscing about days past. Under his the breath the man was revealing different terms of endearment to a picture that lay in his hand. In the picture was the women seen in the others on the mantle. She was sitting on a cliff as a beautiful sunset gazed down upon her. Her body was attentive as if she was dreaming. Her head was turned slightly around looking over her shoulder at something. Her hair had blocked most of her face but through some strands you could see a smile, a blissful smile at that. This was the picture of the day he met her. He had taken her picture because he thought it was an angel. His hand seems to slowly draw outlines on the picture. He was looking for something, searching for an answer or sign to a question that had lingered in his mind for sometime. Under his breath you could here him say, “Why do you love me so my Lovely, why.” The man looked up again at the fire and began to once again roam around in his head for something.
The day turned to night and still there was no silence. The man was quiet, slowly rocked back and forth staring into the fire and the pounding had stopped but the crying could still be heard. Every now and again you can here the sound of scrapping on the walls. The noise made the man turn his head and wonder what was going on in the other room. But he would then turn back and stare into the fire. The man continued to rock back and forth, picture in hand. After some time he decided to talk to her again, “Remember when we moved into this house? You looked at me like I was crazy.” The man’s smile seems to be more of a laugh. The memory had amused him. “I knew you liked it though. I could see it you’re your eyes my lovely; you didn’t have to say anything. When I showed you our room your eyes lit up in excitement.” The man was amused once again. The pounding continued in the room behind him. As the darkness of the night surrounded the house the house got even colder. The man got up out of the rocking chair in search for wood. Right beside the fire place lay a stack of what looked like recently cut tree for there was some ants still crawling between the bark. He threw two pieces of the wood into the fire and sat back down in his chair. He started to rock back and forth once again. He reached over and grabbed a cup off the table beside him. The smoke that came from its head had now become nothing but a memory. The cup was now slightly cold for you could tell when the man brought it to his lips. He sipped the cup and brought it back to its resting place. He began to hum a little, still thinking as he gazed into the fire. The hum was silenced by yet another round of pounding, scrapping, and crying. The man decided to reason with her, “Why do you have to be like this my Lovely? Why can’t you be as happy as we were not to long ago? You remember don’t you? Remember when we kissed. Your lips were so fragile I had to kiss you gently. You hair was so beautiful to touch. I remember I use to take my hands and cast my fingers through my Lovely’s hair while you were sleeping. It was so smooth and when I grazed your neck you would twitch a bit.” That comment made the man smile again; the memory had once again amused him. The man seemed to love her tremendously for his only memories were of her. The women began to pound louder and louder this time not on the walls but the door. Over and over again she pounded shaking the floor and the ceilings. The man sat there staring into the fire as if silence had broken. The flames spit up pieces of burnt wood and threw them into the air. They fell to the feet of the man. Suddenly he stopped rocking. The pounding had stopped. But that was not what caught the man’s attention. It was the crying. No longer could you hear the muffled cry of the women. She had stopped; probably tired for it had been almost a full day. The man sat there motionless staring behind him at the door. He waited a good few minutes before finally getting up and walking to the door.
He walked slowly to the door and pressed his ear up to it. For once he was stunned by the silence. He did he best to stop all the sound he could to focus his hearing but nothing could be heard except the wind hitting the trees outside. The man grabbed for his pocket. He pulls out a rusty old skeleton key. He slowly placed the key into the keyhole. It was amazing the key even worked for it looked fragile. He turned it and a loud click was heard. The door stuck slightly but was jarred open with one quick thrust. The door took strength to move as it was blocked by something. The room was dark and the only light came from fire behind the man. The walls of the room were cracked and the color faded. Faded so much you could not tell what the original color even was. The ceiling was peeled back in some spots and leaking. Drops of water hit the ground and echoed throughout the room. There was nothing else in the room but the women lying on the floor, but that didn’t stop the man from looking back and forth as he walked in. She lay there stiff. One arm lay in front of her palm pressing against the floor. The other flailed over her head. The legs were limp and knees seem slightly pulled toward the chest. The woman was much thinner then the picture had told. Bruises coved most of her legs and arms as well as her face. She lay there as if she was trampled by a large animal. Blood slowly ran down hair and than down her cheek. The man looked at her for awhile staring. “O my Lovely what have you done to yourself,” said the man with a surprisingly sad look upon his face. He grabbed her head gently and turned it so he could see into her eyes. They lay shut as the blood had crawled around the cracks. The man looked behind the door to see a spat of blood on the door slowly slipping to the floor. He looked back at her face. She was pale and her mouth seemed locked shut. Her lips had cracked and blood has dried up in each one. “What did you do?” the man began to cry. He fell to the floor beside her and pulled her to his chest. He began to rock her back and forth like a child. “No, how could you, no,” said the man over and over. Minutes turned to hours as the man still continued to rock her back and forth. Tears still ran from his face. The drops fell upon the woman cheek and slid to the lips. Slowly the lips began to come apart. The tears had loosened the adhesive that held them together. Her jaw moved to the side as the man clenched her tighter. Slowly he rocked her. The morning sun came and shined through the small window at the top of the room. The room lit up a little. The man still sat there wit the women locked in his arms. It seemed he has someone tightened in his grip even more through the night. He sat there staring at the stained door as if he was looking for something, searching. He then turned his attention toward the window. The sun glared into the man’s eyes. The light revealed them to be a dark shade of brown, so dark you could get away with calling them black. He lifted himself off the floor. He bet down and picked up the body of the women. He walked out the door and down the hall to another door at the end. He open the door and began to descend the stairs. The air was stale and each step threw up dust as the man’s boot hit it. The only light came from the hall up the stairs. The man walked into the darkness and disappeared for several minutes. He did not come back with her body. He walked back up the stairs and down the hall. He then went back to his chair. He sat for a bit finishing off what was left in the cup that sat next to him. He gazed at the dying fire. Minutes later the flame had vanished and a cold rushed into the room. The man got up and grabbed a coat that hung from a hook at the front of the house. He opens the door and heads outside. You could here the scrapping of the car window as he cleared the frost, than the door shut, and finally the car start and leave.
Several hours passed by as the car turned into the lost driveway for the snow had taken over. You can hear him open his door as well as the trunk. His footsteps come closer to the door. He then opens the door and in his arm lays a large bag. The man then walks into the room were the woman had died. He leaves the room empty handed and walks down the hall to the kitchen. A sound of dishes rumbling and water running fills the house. He comes back with a cup and sets it by the rocking chair. He then goes over to the fireplace and places 3 large pieces of wood into its center. He grabs a can of gasoline and drenches the wood. Than he grabs a small match and lights it off of the mantle piece. As he throws the match at the wood, a great fire consumes the wood and warms the man. He stays next to it for a bit sucking away the warmth. The man then looks up at the pictures and grabs them with haste. He brings them over to his chair but does not stare at them like before. He quickly removes the pictures and fiddles with the frames. He gets up and takes the pictures that were in the frame and tosses them in the seas of fire. They burn quickly. The man watches them and gives a short smile. He then put back the frames onto the mantle piece only to find that the woman has been replaced by another. Like the other one she was short, thin, with chocolate colored hair. The man stared at the pictures for awhile and then slowly back away and sat in his rocking chair. H then began to stare into the fire as he stroked a picture he had in his hands. He quickly turned as a noise was heard from behind him. The noise he had heard way too often. The pounding shook the walls a little for one of the vases has moved slightly. The man smiled and said loudly, “Do not worry my Lovely, everything will be ok.”
Here is the article: http://www.cinematical.com/2007/07/24/n
- Mood: happy
By Josh Conley
Summer days, the air leaves the mouth dry and the taste stale. The sun beats down on the shoulders of anyone caught in its splendor. The heaviness of the one ray slows every moment. Beads of sweat roll down the brow of the suits hastily walking to unknown destinations. Cars breathe on one another and craft noises of displeasure as there comfort level of their masters falls. Each building sheds its skin only slightly as the sun thrashes its delicate structure. Dust is seen dancing in the wind after each gust of heated wind swallows up the crumbs the sun has left behind. Shade crawls to the deepest cracks and patiently waits for sun to pass by. High up from the streets lies a dim and aged brick building and in the corner there sits a cracked window basking in this summer day.
The suns breath slowly slips through the crack in the window. As it makes it way to the floor the dust scatters fleeing the scene with haste. The sun wraps the furniture with its stale, musty breath, forcing the hairs to cringe and retract back to their homes. The wooden chair rocks slightly back and forth as a slight chill run down its spine. As the sun continues forward the couch lets out a long breath of air and slowly sinks down closer to the ground and the wooden chair lets out a final cry. Whispers crowd the floor as the sun slowly hovers over head. The room is only slightly dark yet quiet enough that even a pin could create a loud enough wave to wake the dead left scattered throughout the room. All around it seemed that crumbled papers had swallowed the room. For they have eaten the tables, the chairs, the couch, and most of the floor. From the letters words could be seen “Why don’t you love me,” “…why did you do this to me,” each word felt lonely, like they had no feeling left in their bones. “I can’t do this,” “….please….” All of them made the sun sad. But oddly enough, there lay only one letter on a desk left hidden in the corner. It seemed to be the only piece of this room that survived this butchery. But what did it say. The sun moved along in wonder as it arrived in the kitchen to find some shade hiding in the corner. In the opposite corner standing tall is a thin refrigerator humming a soft yet heartbreaking tone. Beside it sits a exposed white trash bag filled with scraps of moldy bread, remnants of old food, and many crumbled up letters. The aroma had overflowed the air and not even the sun could fight it back. The sun jerked back in disgust and dashed forward to try and avoid the bag as much as it could. It slowly crawled on the floor trying to catch its breath passing torn wallpaper left nailed to a dull and cracked white wall. Pipes sprung out of the dying wall, falling tears fell from its eyes. The sink was bare except for some motionless rose petals left nestled and rotting in the drain. Only a pale white graced the counter tops as the sun crawled by, for there is no sign of life here. It arrived in front of a single chair. The chair just sat there, no sign of life was anywhere to be found. It was pale and worn. Beside the chair lied small red chips revealing the color the chair once wore. As the sun climbed the dead branch, like children, the chips rose up, hands sprawled out hoping their mother would take them back in open arms but sadly they fell back to their knees. As the sun jumped to the top of the table a single dish lay there while a broken vase lay in the middle. The vase rested there, broken, arms and legs drenched in their own blood. The fingers and toes seemed to have slowly flowed down the blood trail toward the pathetic plate. On the plate lied several small stones that rocked back and forth as the sun walked by. The sun stopped for a moment and gazed into the pool that trapped the vase; an unnatural death it was. The sun stumbled in horror as a cold wind wrapped him. Desperately the sun pulled away as hard as he could until it broke free. The split heaved him off the table and once back onto the floor. For a slight moment the sun lied there shivering and in front of him lays a door.
The sun gathered its thoughts, its feelings, and its hopes and walked slowly to the door. It was hanging from the wall, pale white and broken hearted. As it arrived, the door seemed to stare back at the sun. A moist and dry draft steps out and slowly creeps back in. The sun approaches slowly and puts its hand on the end of the door than slowly peeks in. The room is dark and dust lays chained to the surface of everything in the room. The room is cold, the chill stops the sun in it tracks. There is no place for the sun here. As the sun gazes into the room small beads of light seem to creep through the edges of the windows. It gives the room a gentle yet morbid glow. In the middle of the room pressed tightly against the wall lies a bed. The covers lay dead as if they haven’t held anyone in a long time. Dust covers the pale white sheets turning them into soft beige color. One pillow lies upright on the floor as if it was thrown from its throne, discarded by its own people, never to return to its kingdom. The other lies motionless at the foot of the bed with no breathe left in its body. The sun continues to look around only to find a table nestled snugly between the bed and a window. The dim light reveals a memory now faded and torn. Pieces of it lay below the tables feet, lost it seems. The sun now gasps as it turns it head to the other side of the room. A light creeps down from a crack in the wall where the wallpaper has fallen limp and the wall itself is left crumbled. Somehow the light manages to stretch its arms through and touch the floor. Lying on the floor shines back a trinket of some sort. The chain lays rusted and severed in pieces and in the middle the heart of a love lies. But empty is the heart as the shine is not from it but the reflection of light from a shard of glass. The pieces lay sheltered to the ground by a dried crimson pool that looked to have slowly crawled away. The sun follows the road as it comes once again to a lone chair in the corner of the room, but unlike the others this one holds the secret to the room. But the darkness rules this corner and lets no light step through. The sun makes a final struggle and breaks through the door revealing something lying at the feet. It’s hard to make out but as the sun moves a little closer the object comes into view. Left stained in another crimson pool lays another letter. The words are unclear yet almost visible to the suns eyes. The darkness begins to pull the sun back but its drives its nails into the floor. He struggles and tries to pull itself forward to see the words. The sun is loosing its grip and he can’t hold on anymore. But before it lets go he sees a last line not stained, “I love you so much, but I hate you even more.” A gust of wind pours in through the cracks in the walls and pushes the sun out and slams the broken, pale white door.
I told him this. No matter where she is I do not want to be in the same city as her anymore. I will stay by his side in whatever decision he makes, but I will not be forced to be nice to someone who just hurts him over and over. I don't know anymore. This could be the end of a long friendship sadly. Why don't people just listen. Here comes many bad days.
- Mood: annoyed
- Mood:dorky
by Josh Conley
Here I am in another dream. This one seems different. In this unusual and rare hallucination I see a Bunny, a pink Bunny, the color of strawberry cream. The ears extended to what seemed like glowing clouds hovering over its head. The nose was small and a darker shade of pink, a color I did not recognize. It was something new, something more graceful then the color of its fur. A gentle wind flew by and the nose twitched but for some reason seemed more like a twinkle. Though odd its appearance, what caught my eyes was not the pink colored rabbit standing so patiently in front of me it was its eyes, its gorgeous eyes. There it stood in front of me, gazing at me, its face showed it knew my thoughts and feelings. The eyes locked my knees with their bright salient gleam. I could not, no, I would not turn away. They where heavenly, they danced back in forth in what seemed like a lake of stars. The Bunny knew me, but how? This was no ordinary Bunny; in fact this Bunny seemed to me virtuous, intelligent, and prominently mystifying.
Time slowing passed and yet here I stood, like a dense chap who just won't leave a beautiful dame be. Its eyes calling me as mine slowly molded with its, and now I was dancing with the stars. The gentle glow surrounds me and for once in my solemn life I felt alive. All my shallow thoughts and memories crawled out and bathed in the starlight with me, gradually they evolved into something I was desperately searching for, purpose. The Bunny then came closer and closer until I could feel it on the edge of my skin. It shakes its whole body and a shimmering light spread through the whole room covering my body in gentle warmth. Its small mouth opened. The words did not appear to come from its mouth but from behind me as if it was whispering in my ear. The words brought bliss to my eyes. In a soft divine tone it spoke, "Do you love me?" Did I love it? More importantly did I care? The feeling was too good to just toss away, love is just a word right? Here stands the beautiful Bunny, so gorgeous I cannot even look away, I must love it. Without much thought and hesitation I said back to the Bunny, "Yes." The Bunny smiled. The Bunny then opened its mouth once again. From behind me a tranquil and soft tone filled my ears, "Forever?" I smiled. I didn't want the Bunny to think I had any doubts so I immediately said with a grin, "Yes." The Bunny smiled as well. He stared at me for awhile and I stared back. Once again I was locked in with the beautiful Bunny, with this overwhelming feeling of joy. The Bunny opened its mouth once again, "Thank you, then I will love you forever as well." It shakes his body once more and once again a bright light filled the room and surrounded me with light. I stood there cherishing this moment, this moment I never wanted to go away.
The room started to dim as the feeling quickly faded and turned from overwhelming elation to fear. The Bunny started moving away from me. I try desperately to hold on to this feeling, this wonderful feeling. Doubt rips a hole in my heart; my eyes break from the hold and fall back. I try to grab hold but it is to late, the light moves farther and farther away till all that is left is my hand reaching out into darkness. An overwhelming feeling of sadness took over. A single tear escaped out of my left eye and slithered down my cheek. It brought a cool touch all over my body that broke the knees. I collapsed to the floor hands catching the ground. The rest of the tears follow its lead and fell covering my hands in sorrow. I had it all and now I sit, defeated, breathless, wondering, what happened?
For a moment I lay in darkness, nothing, not even the Bunny can be seen. I start asking many questions, like most, none have answers. The silence calms my pounding heart into a quiet echo that hums a tune that brings me back to a right state of mind. I manage to get to my feet; tears glide off my finger tips and hit the floor each emulating there own unique ripple. They form shapes of puzzle pieces that form a picture of what looks like a man and a woman. Writing spreads across the bottom and says Jonathan and? I could not read the rest because many pieces are missing. But I know this; this picture feels familiar to me. For a moment it feels like I would be trapped here forever but suddenly across the abyss of darkness I see a light. The light looked pale and formed what seemed to be dreary clouds. They seemed to hover over something that put a nervous feeling at the bottom of my stomach. My torso twisted and a sharp pain pierced my side, I felt nauseous. Pieces of vague light surrounded me and once again appeared this pink Bunny. But he was no longer the glorious pink Bunny I remembered it to be. He was dirty; the beauty was replaced by ugliness that brought a speechless look upon my face. What had happened to my beautiful and precious pink Bunny. Its ears no longer reached high, one was missing and the other folded down like a branch after a long drought. The nose was no longer the stunning pink; it had faded into a dark color that made a tear fall from my eye. The noise no longer twinkled, but shivered the cold brought upon by the dim clouds of its head. But none of this mattered to me because a feeling of shock and horror filled my face. The eyes, those eyes that once held the stars, were black as stone. Inside laid no stars, only a thick smoke that covered a dim glow in the center of the eyes. My eyes gazed in terror as I was suddenly drawn into the Bunny's eyes. I was surrounded by the smoke as it danced around me. I could see far way a dim like. The light seemed to be struggling. It wanted to fight but it was scared. It lacked love, the love I felt when I first meet this mysterious Bunny. I stared at the light wondering what to do. Should I save it? Should I fight for it? The smoke is too much I begin to cough, my lungs start to fill with an awful tragedy, and flashes of misery materialize in font of my eyes. It is too much I scream, "Stop please." In an instant I am thrown to the ground. My eyes go blurry for a moment but then focus on a solid object in front of me. There stands the ugly, dirty Bunny.
I sit there for a moment, and then make my way to my feet. I stare at the dirty Bunny in bewilderment. It stares back at me with its sad, vague eyes looking for something. What is this Bunny looking for, then it hit me when its starts moving closer and closer. I think of what I am going to say when it asks me the question, I hope it doesn't. The Bunny shakes its body and the room is filled with think dark smoke. It begins to open its mouth, but before it speaks, I interrupt with questions of mine own. With a supple tone I ask, "Who are you? What is your name? Why are you doing this to me?" The Bunny stood there for a moment. I stood and watched a smile creep upon the dirty Bunny's face. It slowly opens its mouth. This time instead of a whisper it is more of an echo that bounces around over my head from ear to ear. "My name is Katherine silly." She laughs in a tone that does not fit the scene. The voice is the same as my beautiful pink Bunny, this cannot be. In anger I scream out, "What did you do with my beautiful pink Bunny, what did you do!?" Katherine looks at him with a smile and then speaks in a soft caring tone, "I am her, I 'm your beautiful pink Bunny." Shock fills my eyes as a tremble to her answer. No is uttered over and over in my head, this cannot be, no, she is lying, she is not my beautiful pink Bunny, she cannot be. My Bunny was beautiful, my Bunny was graceful, and my Bunny was lovely. I step back enraged. Katherine moves closer to me still present on her face a smile. "What is wrong my love?" Her question catches me off guard; I fall to my feet in anger, screaming no over and over again. I get up and move toward her and scream in her face, "You tricked me, you showed me something great something wonderful, something amazing and it was all a lie." Katherine's smile goes blank and her head drops. I watch as a tear leaves her eye, only one. Her head rises up and then the smile is reborn. She then opens her mouth and says, "I am still all those things, on the inside. No matter how life changes you on the outside your true self lies underneath. I am still wonderful and I am still amazing." My heart starts to feel heavy; I can barely breathe as Katherine moves closer to me. I tell her to stay back but she doesn't listen. She comes closer and closer till she is standing right beside me. This time there is no echo or whisper, the voice comes directly from her lips, "You said you would love me forever, remember." The words crawl through the mouth and crawl down my throat and carve out my stomach leaving it empty enough to make me sick inside. How could I ever love this, this dirty, dull, and ugly Bunny? "No". I repeat over and over to her. "No, no, no, I do not love you, I would never love you!" Katherine is shocked, but still present her smile.
For awhile I remain starring at her. She stares back with that smile of hers, that smile that I saw on my lovely, beautiful pink Bunny. Then I notice that light still hanging on. I look at it deeper and deeper. Remnants of that wonderful feeling we once shared try to make there way to my heart and for a moment I start to fall back into that feeling. But I am suddenly stopped by her dull and ugly appearance. "I can't, I can't, I am sorry I can't love you" repeats over and over in my head. Anger starts to fill my body once more as I remember my lovely Bunny, my beautiful Bunny that was taken away from me. Katherine, it was her fault, she took my Bunny way from me, and it was all her fault. It is her fault I am here alone without my lovely Bunny. Katherine then senses pain in my eyes and leans in and kisses me on the cheek. With all the love in her heart she says in a soft beloved tone, "I love you Jonathan, forever." At that moment I did not care what words she had muttered. It took me awhile to realize my hands where wrapped around Katherine's neck. The anger had filled my veins and it was hate that was keeping my heart beating. I moved away from Katherine and sat in a corner staring at her. It was at that moment I finally saw the light leave her eyes. Her body lay there frail and lifeless. The smoke that once engulfed the room was now replaced with darkness. A soft light seem to penetrate through the darkness from above and shine down on Katherine, while I remained in shadows. I felt scared and alone and there was nothing I could say or do, but wait.
Jonathan woke up quickly covered in sweat and jumped out of bed instantly and ran over to the bathroom sink and turned on the water. He splashed the cool water on his face over and over. He starred in the mirror for awhile because something had caught his eye. He stood there for what seemed like hours searching for something his eyes had seen but his mind could not comprehend. He gave up and splashed my face once more and went back to bed. He woke up several hours later to the sun shinning on his face. He opened a window so air could cool the humid bedroom. The house felt quiet, quieter then it has ever been. He stumbled out of bed and made his way to the kitchen. As he made his way to the kitchen something caught his eye. In the living room lay on the floor something. He walked slowly over to it and there laid a picture. He picked it up and immediately his body turned warm. It was a picture of his wife and him. The writing at the bottom said "Jonathan and Katherine." A smile came across his face. The picture was taken on their honeymoon. The memories of the occasion flashed in front of his eyes and a little laugh escaped under his breath. He put the picture in his pocket and made his way to the kitchen. He went through his normal morning routine. Breakfast was a glass of milk, two pieces of toast, light butter, and cut diagonally. As he ate he read the two day old paper left crumbled on the kitchen table. After breakfast he made his way back up stairs to take a shower. As he walked into the bedroom he noticed his wife still sleeping laying motionless under the sheets. He stopped for a moment to smile. He then undressed and made his way into the shower. As he showered a breeze crept into the room, pieces of paper on the desk fluttered around. The leaves from a fern hanging from the wall shivered as it passed. The sheets on the bed rustled and yet Katherine did not move. The wind shifted directions and made the picture loosen out of the pocket and it flew up in the air and settled back to the ground. The breeze had flipped the picture over. On the back there was more writing, written was a message Jonathan had written to Katherine. It read, " To my beautiful pink bunny, I will love you forever."
- Music:The Killing Moon - Echo & The Bunnymen
- Mood: exhausted
Each beat sends my thoughts into a tranquil rest.
For at this time, my thoughts are of only you.
Yes you.
Your smile brings a tremor that flows to the finger tips.
As you draw closer it spreads like fire up the arms and to the lips.
Your voice brings even my sturdy legs crashing to their knees.
It then takes me up in arms with your lively yet gentle breeze.
Your touch is deadly for each connection stops every breath in me.
You’re an angel, Gods creation,
With you my hearts free.
